Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
if only i could text you this smell
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
