Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
