You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
