Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
