found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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