We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
