I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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