first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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