I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
