wrigley field is MILF paradise
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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