u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
