tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
