he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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