i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
