I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
