Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
