Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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