Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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