ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
