he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
