I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
