Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
