Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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