They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
