so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
