Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
