we made out on top of his cat.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
