So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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