i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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