Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize