i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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