just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
