UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize