she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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