this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize