Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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