we're blogging at a bar
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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