he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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