How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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