I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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