Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
