you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
