i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
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