DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
