I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
