"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
