If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize