first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I am available for nakedness
We need to get me chipped asap
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
