meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
