even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
