I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I want a musical about memes.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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