I have demons in me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
