well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
