Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
