We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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