Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This is classic penis vs brain.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize