Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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