If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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