Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
