You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
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