I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
