I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
All the doctor said was why
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
