you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
