Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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