she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
