I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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