what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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