we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
