Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
only if we run a train.
done.
This house was built for laser tag.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
