im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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